I’ve seen this little gem do the rounds a few times in different guises, but I still get a laugh so thought I’d share for those who haven’t seen it.
Things You Never Hear Keyboard Players Say
1. Can someone give me an A?
2. No problem. Actually, covering the horn, string, organ, piano, and triangle parts all simultaneously is a piece of cake.
3. Could you turn up your guitar amp? I can’t hear it over my keys.
4. Take up as much space with that drum kit as you want. Just leave me a couple of feet for my keyboard rig.
5. Yes, the original had two keyboard players. No problem, I can cover with just two hands.
6. Forget the set list, I can dial up anything on-the-fly!
7. That studio sound in the original? Wait, I have a preset for that …
8. Sure, place as many drinks as you want on my synth.
9. I’m the loudest in the band – here, have these free earplugs if it gets too much.
10. Wow, you guys all came to practice knowing your parts? I don’t have to show you what to play? Cool !
11. You want me to play Jump? Man, I never get asked to do that.
12. Hey drunk audience, be sure to play my synths while I’m on a break.
13. I play keyboards because the equipment is cheap and it lasts forever.
14. No..I don’t mind if you want to jump around the set list. I think its fun and challenging to make you happy as I scramble with presets in the dark.
15. I love having the drummer’s cymbals about 4 inches from my ears, it really sounds good !
There we have it – any further ones you’d like to add to the list?